100 Public-Speaking Jokes to Add Humor to Your Next Speech

​Want to make your audience laugh? We’ve accumulated over 100 icebreaker jokes, one-liners, and funny quotes to use in your next speech. Before we just give you these public speaking jokes, though, let’s start with a little warning. Stand-up comedians practice their routine over and over timing each punch line perfectly to get audiences to laugh. So, just inserting a corny joke into a terrible speech is not the best idea. Even the funniest joke can bomb if not delivered properly.

So, if you are looking to add humor to your presentation, one of the best ways is to insert self-deprecating humor in the form of funny stories. A good story from your own personal experience will be easier to insert into your speech. The story will also create more of a shared experience with your audience. For details about how to use stories to add humor to your speech, click here.

With that being said, though, sometimes, you just need to get a quick laugh out of your audience. And good jokes can be a great way to lighten the mood. We’ve organized the post into four categories of public-speaking jokes.

100 Public Speaking Jokes to Add Humor to Your Next Speech.

• Public-Speaking Jokes.
• One-Liners about Public Speaking and Presenting.
• Funny Public Speaking Quotes.
• Dad Jokes that You Can Use as Presentation Icebreakers.

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Public-Speaking Jokes for Your Next Presentation to Add a Little Fun.

Between you and I, telling jokes in front of an audience is pretty risky. But sometimes, just getting the audience to laugh right from the start can lighten the mood. Here are a few jokes about public speaking that you can use when you are public speaking.

Jokes about Being Nervous and the Fear of Public Speaking

Most people get nervous when they stand up to speak. Instead of distancing yourself from that fear, you might try embracing it a little. These funny jokes can help.

• Why did the public speaker hire a pitching coach? Because he needed to improve his delivery!
• I used to think I was afraid of public speaking, but just now, I realized I was actually afraid of audiences.
• A public speaker asked the audience, “How many of you are afraid of public speaking?” About half the audience raised their hands. The speaker replied, “Don’t worry, I used to be too. In fact, there was a 50/50 chance that I’d canceled today’s talk!”
• My wife was nervous about public speaking. So, I told her she should embrace her mistake to add a little humor to her delivery. She gave me a hug. Then she laughed.
• Public speaking tip: Imagine the audience naked. But not if you’re giving a eulogy.

Funny Jokes about Presentation Challenges.

Okay, funny may be a little overexaggerated, but corny can work too. Here are a few jokes about challenges that can come up in a presentation.

• Why did the PowerPoint presentation go to therapy? It had too many issues with transitions.
• I was going to tell a time-traveling joke during my speech, but you didn’t like it.
• I asked the librarian if there were any books on how to overcome the fear of public speaking. She whispered, “They’re in the self-help section, but you might have to speak up to find them.”
• I used to be a baker before I became a public speaker. I kneaded the dough, and now I need the audience!
• Why did the public speaker become a gardener? Because he knew how to plant ideas and watch them grow!

These Jokes Are about Audience Interaction.

These are a few jokes that help you be more relatable to your audience. These jokes tend to work better for a more sophisticated audience.

• I asked the audience if anyone had experience with public speaking. A cricket in the corner started chirping.
• The best way to become a confident public speaker is to imagine the audience in their underwear. Unless you’re speaking at a nudist colony.
• I told my wife I was going to give a speech on procrastination. She said, “Maybe next time.”
• How do you make a tissue dance during a speech? You put a little boogie in it!
• Why did the extroverted computer become a public speaker? Because it had great social networking skills!

Public Speaking Jokes about Presentation Themes.

These funny (or corny) jokes are about the process of public speaking. You can easily use one of these if you start with… “Before I actually start my presentation…” then add the joke.

• I asked my friend if he had any advice for public speaking. He said, “Yes, just imagine the audience is full of cats. They don’t care what you’re saying, but they’ll pay attention if you have treats.”
• How do you organize a fantastic space-themed presentation? You planet!
• Why did the public speaker bring a ladder to the presentation? To reach new heights in communication!
• My friend tried to give a speech on patience, but the audience left before he finished. It seems they didn’t have the patience for it.
• Why did the microphone apply for a job in public speaking? Because it wanted to be heard at work!

A Few Random Public Speaking Jokes (Use with Caution.)

These last few public speaking jokes are a little more tricky. You’d want to save these only for the right type of crowd.

• I used to be afraid of public speaking, but then I realized it’s just talking in front of people. Now I’m terrified of public listening.
• What’s a public speaker’s favorite kind of fish? The articulate!
• I told my friend I was giving a speech about a famous chicken. He asked, “Is it poultry in motion?”
• I was going to make a joke about public speaking, but I figured it would be better in front of a live audience.
• Why did the scarecrow become a great public speaker? He was outstanding in his field!

Remember, just adding a joke or two to a speech won’t win over every audience. For help becoming a confident and effective presenter, we invite you to attend one of our 2-Day Fearless Presentations ® Classes. Click here for details.

Here Are a Few Public Speaking One-Liners to Get Your Audience Laughing.

You’ll have a much easier time just adding a funny one-liner every now and then. When you tell a joke, you typically have to get your audience to respond. And, in some cases, the audience will finish your joke.

So a well-placed one-liner will often get you a quick chuckle without as much risk. Here are a few that we organized into five different categories.

These One-Liners Are Related to Audience Interaction (Or Audience Reactions.)

• “I’m not saying I’m a great public speaker, but I did once get a standing ovation… because I tripped over the microphone cord.”
• “I asked my audience if they had any questions after my speech. One person raised their hand and asked, ‘When does the torture end?'”
• “Public speaking is easy. It’s like riding a bike. Except the bike is on fire, you’re on fire, everything is on fire, and you’re in hell.”
• “I used to be afraid of public speaking until I realized every audience is just a bunch of people hoping you don’t notice them.”
• “I gave a speech on procrastination. The audience is still waiting for the punchline.”

Here Are a Few about Speech Techniques and Styles.

• “I asked the audience if they knew the definition of a will. Apparently, ‘a dead giveaway’ wasn’t the right answer.”
• “I don’t have a fear of public speaking; I have a fear of public not listening.”
• “Why don’t public speakers ever get lost? Because they always find their way to the lectern.”
• “I used to be a mime, but I couldn’t stay silent about it. Now I’m a public speaker.”
• “I told the audience I’d be speaking off the cuff. Turns out, my cuff was more interesting than my speech.”

That’s Ironic! One Liners about Humor and Irony in Speech

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• “I used to be a public speaker at a mime convention. Needless to say, my speeches were a big hit.”
• “I asked the audience if they could define irony. They said, ‘Sure, it’s like goldy and bronzy, but made of iron.'”
• “Public speaking is a lot like a roller coaster. It’s terrifying, and I always feel like I’m going to lose my lunch.”
• “I used to be a motivational speaker, but then I lost my train of thought. Now I’m just a ‘meh’-tivational speaker.”
• “Why did the public speaker bring a ladder to the speech? To reach the high points, of course!”

These One-Liners Are about Speech Topics and Delivery.

• “I told the audience I’m going to talk about time travel. They’re still waiting for my future self to arrive.”
• “I tried to give a speech on humility, but everyone said I was the best at it.”
• “Why did the public speaker get an award? Because he was outstanding in his field of expertise – corn farming.”
• “I asked the crowd if they liked my tie. They said, ‘It’s not the tie, it’s what you’re saying that’s knot working.'”
• “I tried to make a speech about sleep, but I dozed off during my own presentation.”

Funny One-Liners Related to the Challenges of Public Speaking.

• “I asked the audience for silence during my speech. Apparently, their laughter didn’t get the memo.”
• (If your audience won’t give you feedback.) “Dialogue is like a parachute – it only works when it’s open.”
• (If you happen to break wind because of nervousness.) “I’m not a nervous public speaker. I just have a very expressive colon.”
• “I told my wife I’m writing a book on public speaking. She told me to speak louder.”
• “Why did the PowerPoint file go to therapy? It had too many issues with transitions.”

Remember, just adding a joke or two to a speech won’t win over every audience. For help becoming a confident and effective presenter, we invite you to attend one of our 2-Day Fearless Presentations ® Classes. Click here for details.

Funny Motivational Quotes Related to Public Speaking.

A really good way to add humor to any speech is to insert a funny quote from a famous person. These funny motivational quotes are very easy to insert. In fact, you can add them to your speech introduction right at the start. That will lighten the tension in the room and get your audience laughing.

Here are a few that always hit home!

Funny Quotes About Preparation and Delivery of Speech.

Here are a few funny quote you can use if you had trouble creating or designing your speech.

• “The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.” – George Jessel
• “It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.” – Mark Twain
• “Speak clearly, if you speak at all; carve every word before you let it fall.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
• “A good speech should be like a woman’s skirt; long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.” – Winston Churchill
• “The best way to sound like you know what you’re talking about is to know what you’re talking about.” – Author Unknown

Quotes Related to Adding Humor to Your Speech.

If you are looking for a famous quote specifically about adding humor to a speech, try one of these.

• “The first time I spoke in the West, the agents and organizers looked at me and said, ‘Oh, my God, she’s funny.’ And I thought, ‘Oh, my God, I’ve been funny all my life, but I never knew it.'” – Maya Angelou
• “If you can’t make it good, at least make it look good.” – Bill Gates
• “I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.” – George Carlin
• “The trouble with talking too fast is you may say something you haven’t thought of yet.” – Ann Landers
• “I used to be a good communicator, but then I realized I was talking to myself.” – Author Unknown

Here Are a Few Quotes About Creativity and Writing.

These funny quotes are less about public speaking and more about writing or creativity. But you may still be able to use them in your speech.

• “I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.” – Steven Wright
• “I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.” – Steven Wright
• “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
• “I don’t need time. What I need is a deadline.” – Duke Ellington
• “I can’t understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid, my father took me to all the historic spots. Every time I refused to get out of the car.” – W.C. Fields

The Funny Quotes Can Help You Make Your Point Better.

Like the last group, these funny quotes aren’t about public speaking. But you will likely be able to use them if you are delivering an informative speech.

• “The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself.” – Oscar Wilde
• “I have never been in a situation where having a sense of humor and a giving spirit didn’t lead to a better result.” – Ed Catmull
• “The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his way.” – Josh Billings
• “I like to talk about my obsession with food. I love to eat. I’m not a ‘foodie,’ but I do love to eat.” – Miranda Kerr
• “I failed public speaking in college the first time and made a ‘D’ in the second class. It was horrible.” – John Grisham

These Last Funny Quotes Didn’t Fit the Other Categories. (LOL!)

These last quotes didn’t really fit in any of the other categories. But they are pretty funny. If you can find a way to insert them into your speech, you’re sure to get a laugh or two.

• “It’s hard to be serious when you’re surrounded by balloons.” – Jerry Seinfeld
• “I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.” – Elayne Boosler
• “The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” – Willie Nelson
• “I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That’s how I lost my mind.” – Steve Allen
• “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams

Remember, just adding a joke or two to a speech won’t win over every audience. For help becoming a confident and effective presenter, we invite you to attend one of our 2-Day Fearless Presentations ® Classes. Click here for details.

Dad Jokes that You Can Use as Presentation Icebreakers.

For years, I used to encourage presenters to avoid telling jokes in speeches. I used to say that jokes are very risky. If you bomb a joke, you may have a difficult time recovering as a speaker. Then, I met Ron Champion. He was the manager of a truck dealership here in Ft Worth.

Years ago, I taught a leadership class for his team. And at the start of every session, he stood up in front of the group and told a corny Dad joke. The jokes were cringy. But whether the audience laughed or turned up their nose, they all smiled. Over the next few years, I noticed that Ron’s employee turnover was almost zero. It was unheard of in his industry.

It turns out that his team absolutely loved him. He made a tough job much more fun to come to. So, I changed my tune about Dad jokes. Here are a few that you can use to start your next speech or meeting.

Food Public Speaking Jokes

• What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
• Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion? There was nothing left but de-brie.
• What do you call a fish wearing a crown? A kingfish.
• Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side.
• What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

Science and Technology Jokes.

• Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
• I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads.
• Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
• How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
• What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!

Academic Jokes for a Presentation.

• Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
• Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
• What do you call a factory that makes good products? A satisfactory.
• I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
• I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I took a couple of days off.

Spooky Jokes

• Why did the skeleton go to the seance? To talk to the other side.
• Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
• What did the big flower say to the little flower? “Hi, bud!”
• I went to buy some camouflage pants, but I couldn’t find any.
• What did one hat say to the other hat? Stay here, I’m going on ahead.

Miscellaneous Jokes

• I only know how to make holy water. I boil the hell out of it.
• Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
• Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
• What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
• What did the snowman with a six-pack say? An abdominal snowman!

Remember, just adding a joke or two to a speech won’t win over every audience. For help becoming a confident and effective presenter, we invite you to attend one of our 2-Day Fearless Presentations ® Classes. Click here for details.

Doug Staneart is the CEO of The Leader's Institute. LLC and founder of the Fearless Presentations class. He is author of Fearless Presentations, Mastering Presentations, and 28 Ways to Influence People.

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